This love letter is from Maid Marian to Robin Hood in J.R.R. Tolkien style. Enjoy.
Dearest, dashing Robin,
As I sat at my window seat today, arduously working on the new cape for your birthday, which my uncle tells me is of the finest craftsmanship he has ever seen come from my hands, I was reminded by a small robin outside on the birch tree of you, my beloved. I have, therefore, decided to write you a letter, though you may not get it before you come visit when I am able to deliver it in person, which will inevitably downplay the significance of receiving it. Perhaps I should not write the letter at all? I would not wish to spoil the moment of your joyous return by forcing an outdated letter into your hands rather than a greeting and kiss from me personally. This is quite the predicament that I find myself in. On the one hand, I should very much enjoy to write all my feelings of love and adoration towards you, for I know that you would very much enjoy to read it. However, what should become of my letter after you have read it? Living out in that damp forest as your outlaw status demands, my letter will surely be ruined and offer no further enjoyment past that initial reading, which, we have already established, will spoil our first meeting in weeks while I wait for you to finish reading the cumbersome thing. The solution seems clear; I will not write the letter, but will instead greet you that much more enthusiastically when we next meet.
Deepest love,
Maid Marian
Well done--this has an element of Tolkien's matter-of-fact style coupled with his carefully-chosen diction.
ReplyDeleteFavorite line: "The solution seems clear; I will not write the letter, but will instead greet you that much more enthusiastically when we next meet." :)